Mediation for divorce and separation in Ireland: the free Family Mediation Service and what it can settle

Mediation is the way most separating couples in Ireland are encouraged to settle children, money and the home before anyone goes to court. The State provides it free through the Legal Aid Board's Family Mediation Service, and every solicitor acting in a divorce or judicial separation is required by law to tell you about it. This guide explains how to get it, what it can settle, what it cannot, and how a mediated agreement becomes something a court will enforce.

What mediation is

The Courts Service describes mediation as "a private and voluntary way for people in a dispute to work out an agreement with help from a neutral mediator." The mediator does not take sides, does not give legal advice and does not decide anything. Their job is to help the two of you reach your own agreement.

Three features define it:

• Voluntary. Nobody can be forced into it and either of you can stop at any time.
• Confidential. What is said in mediation stays there and is not reported to the court.
• Not counselling. The Courts Service is explicit that family mediation is "not marriage counselling or to help a couple to reconcile." It assumes the relationship is over and deals with what follows.

Mediation is open to married couples, civil partners and couples who were never married. The Courts Service says it averages between three and six one-hour sessions, and that the mediator may meet you together or separately.

The free Family Mediation Service

The Legal Aid Board runs the Family Mediation Service. It is free, there is no means test, and it is confidential. The Board describes it as helping couples to agree on financial matters such as budget, money and pensions, what to do with the family home and other property, and how to improve communication and the parenting relationship.

How to apply

• Online: request a call back at https://familymediationcallback.board.ie/
• Phone: LoCall 0818 615 200, 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday
• Offices: the service has offices in Dublin and around the country; the Board's website lists them under "Find a Family Mediation Office"

Either of you can make the first contact, but because mediation is voluntary, joint sessions only start once both of you agree to take part. Waiting times are not published.

Private mediators

You do not have to use the State service. Private family mediators, many of them also solicitors, offer the same process on a paid basis. The Courts Service points to two directories: the Law Society of Ireland lists solicitors who are also mediators, and the Mediators' Institute of Ireland lists accredited mediators.

Private mediation costs whatever the mediator charges. No official body publishes a fee scale, so ask for the hourly or per-session rate in writing, and ask whether the fee is split between you or paid by one spouse. People choose private mediation for shorter waiting times, a mediator with particular expertise such as pensions or a family business, or because a solicitor-mediator can also draft the resulting deed.

What mediation can settle

Anything the two of you are entitled to agree. In practice that means:

• Children: where they live, the pattern of time with each parent, holidays, schooling, health decisions, how you will communicate as parents. The Courts Service notes that the mediator can make sure the voice of the child is heard in the process.
• Maintenance: child maintenance and any spousal maintenance, how much, how paid, and when it will be reviewed.
• The family home: whether it is sold, kept or transferred, who lives there and who pays the mortgage in the meantime. See Who gets the house in a divorce in Ireland?.
• Money and assets: savings, debts, cars, the contents of the home, business interests.
• Pensions: what you both intend should happen to each pension, and in what shares.

A mediated agreement on all of this is the normal starting point for a separation agreement or for consent terms in a divorce. The checklist of clauses at Separation agreements in Ireland: what a deed of separation covers and why there is no template here is a useful list to work through in the sessions.

What mediation cannot do

Mediation produces agreement, not law. Three things follow from that.

It does not grant a divorce or judicial separation. Only a court can. Once you have agreed terms, one of you still issues the application and the court still has to be satisfied that the legal conditions are met and that proper provision has been made. Mediation makes that hearing shorter; it does not replace it.

It cannot split a pension. A pension adjustment order under section 17 of the Family Law (Divorce) Act 1996 (or the equivalent on judicial separation) can only be made by a court. You can agree in mediation exactly what order you will ask for, and in a consent case the court will usually make it, but the pension scheme trustees act only on the court's order. See Pension adjustment orders in Ireland: how a court splits a pension on separation or divorce.

It does not give legal advice. The mediator will tell you both to take independent legal advice before signing anything, and most people do so between the last session and the signing. A mediated agreement that neither of you had checked by a solicitor is more vulnerable later.

The Courts Service also notes that mediation may not be appropriate in some circumstances, such as domestic violence. Tell the mediator at the outset; the mediator can meet you separately rather than together.

The solicitor's duty to mention mediation

Under sections 6 and 7 of the Family Law (Divorce) Act 1996, and the corresponding sections of the Judicial Separation and Family Law Reform Act 1989, a solicitor acting for an applicant or a respondent must, before proceedings begin, discuss the possibility of reconciliation, the possibility of mediation, and the possibility of a separation agreement, and give the client the names of people qualified to help with each. The solicitor then files a certificate, Form 37D, confirming this was done. The Courts Service puts it plainly: a solicitor you hire for divorce or judicial separation "must inform you about mediation." If you apply without a solicitor, no certificate is needed.

From mediated agreement to court order

At the end of a successful mediation you will have a written record of what you have agreed. The Courts Service says an agreement becomes legally binding "once it's written down and signed by everyone." In practice there are two ways to get there.

A deed of separation. Each of you takes the mediated terms to your own solicitor, who checks them and draws them up as a Deed of Separation that you both sign. This gives you a binding contract while you wait out the divorce clock. It cannot make the pension adjustment order or let you remarry. See Separation agreements in Ireland: what a deed of separation covers and why there is no template here.

Consent terms in divorce or judicial separation. Once you are eligible, one of you applies, the mediated terms are filed as consent terms, and the judge makes orders in those terms, including any pension adjustment order. This is the step that turns the agreement into something the court will enforce and that the pension trustees will act on. See How divorce works in Ireland, step by step and Judicial separation in Ireland: grounds, process, orders and cost.

A mediated agreement can be changed by agreement at any time. Once it has become a court order, changes need the court's approval.

What mediation does to the cost

The Courts Service charges no fee for family law applications, so the court is free either way. The cost of a divorce is almost entirely legal time, and the biggest driver of legal time is whether the case is contested. A couple who arrive at their solicitors with a mediated agreement are asking for a consent application and a deed, not a contested case with disclosure motions, valuations and court days. Civil legal aid is also available for the court side on the usual means test; see Legal aid for divorce in Ireland: who qualifies and what you pay. Mediation does not change the two-year waiting period for divorce; what it does is keep the dispute, and therefore the cost, as small as the two of you can make it.

Where this leaves you

If you and your spouse can be in the same room, or the same video call, the Family Mediation Service costs you nothing to try and can be stopped at any point. Request a call back at https://familymediationcallback.board.ie/ or phone 0818 615 200. Then use the cost and route planner to compare what a consent route with a mediated agreement could cost against a contested one. For the legal check on what you agree, and for the court application itself, see the solicitor page.