Parenting plans in Ireland: what to include and how to make one enforceable

A parenting plan is a written agreement between separated parents about how they will bring up their children while living apart. It is not a court form and no Act defines it, which leaves it free to say whatever your family needs. This guide explains what a plan is, gives a checklist of what one should cover, describes how parents reach one, and sets out how it becomes something a court will enforce.

What a parenting plan is, and is not

The law behind children's arrangements is the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964, which talks about guardianship, custody and access; those terms are explained in Child custody in Ireland: guardianship, custody and access explained. A parenting plan sits on top of them and translates them into a week. "Joint custody with access" says nothing about who collects from school on Wednesday or where the children wake up on Christmas morning; a plan does.

A plan does not change who is a guardian. Both parents who are guardians stay guardians, and the major decisions about school, medical treatment, religion and passports still need both of them. Nor does it end a marriage or settle finances.

Checklist: the headings a plan should cover

A plan that covers the following headings will have dealt with most of what goes wrong.

• Living arrangements. Where the children's main home is, or how a shared arrangement runs.
• The weekly schedule. Which nights with which parent, including school nights, weekends and alternating patterns. A calendar grid attached to the plan removes doubt.
• Handovers. Where and when the children move between homes, who drives, and what happens if someone is late.
• School holidays and mid-terms. How summer, Easter, Christmas, Halloween and mid-term breaks are divided, and how far ahead dates are confirmed.
• Special days. Christmas Day, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, religious and family occasions. Alternating years is the usual answer.
• School. Who attends parent-teacher meetings, who the school contacts first, and how a change of school would be decided.
• Health. The GP, routine appointments, emergencies, and how each parent is told about illness.
• Communication between parents. How you will talk about the children (text, a shared app, email) and what is not discussed in front of them.
• Contact with the other parent. Phone or video calls: when, how long, and that neither parent listens in.
• New partners and extended family. When and how new partners are introduced, and time with grandparents on both sides.
• Travel and passports. Who holds the passports, written consent for trips abroad, and how much notice is given.
• Money. How maintenance is paid and how extras such as school trips, uniforms, medical and childcare costs are shared. The figures usually sit in a separate maintenance agreement or order; see Child maintenance calculator in Ireland: what the State tool does and does not do.
• The children's views. How, as they get older, their own wishes will be heard.
• Changing the plan and resolving disputes. A review date, what happens when one parent wants a change, and an agreement to return to mediation before going to court.

Write the plan for the children you have now and build in a review. A schedule for a three-year-old will not suit a thirteen-year-old.

How parents reach a plan

Some parents write one at the kitchen table. Many use a mediator. The Courts Service lists arrangements for your children among the matters mediation can cover, alongside maintenance, the family home and money. The Legal Aid Board's Family Mediation Service provides mediation at no cost and describes helping parents to "develop parenting plans that cover living arrangements, schooling, holidays and other important matters". How to apply is in Mediation for divorce and separation in Ireland: the free Family Mediation Service and what it can settle.

Mediation is voluntary, and the Courts Service notes it may not be appropriate where there has been domestic violence. Where safety is an issue, arrangements are made through the court rather than by negotiation.

Making the plan enforceable

A parenting plan is an agreement. If one parent stops keeping to it, the other has nothing to enforce unless one of three things has been done.

Rule of court

The Courts Service says that where you agree arrangements, "you may also ask a judge to make your agreement a rule of court. This means it is treated the same as a court order and can be legally enforced." The agreed plan is put before the District Court, or the Circuit Court if a judicial separation or divorce is already there, and becomes enforceable without a contested hearing.

A section 11 order

Section 11 of the 1964 Act lets any guardian apply to the court for its direction on any question affecting the welfare of the child, and the court may make such order as it thinks proper, including on custody and access. Where parents agree, the court can make the agreed terms its order. Where they do not, the court decides, and section 3 sets the test: the best interests of the child are the paramount consideration. Section 31 lists what the court weighs: the benefit of a meaningful relationship with each parent, the child's own views, their needs and the history of their care, any risk of harm, and each parent's willingness to facilitate the child's relationship with the other. A plan that already reflects those factors is one a court is likely to adopt.

A mediation settlement

Under section 11 of the Mediation Act 2017, the parties decide whether their settlement is to be enforceable between them, and a settlement is treated as a contract unless it says otherwise. The court can enforce its terms, but not where it is satisfied the settlement does not adequately protect the parties' rights or was reached without full disclosure or under undue influence. Section 11(4) adds that where the settlement concerns a child, the court applies the requirements of the 1964 Act. Parents cannot contract out of the best-interests test.

Once a plan is part of an order, the enforcement tools in sections 18A to 18D of the 1964 Act apply: make-up time, reimbursement of expenses, parenting programmes.

Changing the plan

A plan that has not been made an order can be changed by agreement at any time; write the change down and date it. A plan that is a rule of court or an order can only be changed by agreement put back to the court, or by a fresh application; the Courts Service says the same of a mediated agreement that is part of an order.

Moving away and travel abroad

Moving within Ireland far enough to disrupt the schedule is a change to the plan and, where the plan is an order, needs the other parent's consent or the court's agreement. Moving abroad with a child needs the consent of every guardian or a court order. Both guardians must sign a child's passport application, and if one refuses the other can apply to the court for the passport to issue without that signature.

Removing a child from the State without that consent or order can be treated as child abduction. The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction has the force of law in Ireland under the Child Abduction and Enforcement of Custody Orders Act 1991; return applications are heard in the High Court and the Central Authority is appointed by the Minister for Justice. A plan that deals with holidays abroad in advance, with notice, written consent and who keeps the passports, removes the risk.

Where this leaves you

A parenting plan settles time and decisions; money is the other half. The maintenance and pensions tool walks you through the State's child maintenance calculator so you can see what a court might expect for the children in the plan. If you cannot reach agreement, or you need the plan made an order, the solicitor page explains how to be put in touch with a family law solicitor.